Sleepless In Tyler

I woke up about 4:15 am needing to pee. I did that, got back in bed but then couldn't go back to sleep....crap. I counted backwards, flipped and flopped, turned on the light and read a little while, to no avail. Jazz tried to lick-kiss me to sleep and that didn't work either. So, I just got up. I turned on the TV and an infomercial for Jack LaLanne's fabulous juicer machine was on. Did you kow "juicing" (that's what he calls it) has enabled him to live well into his 80's? He was still wearing the tight jumpsuit with a turtle neck shirt (to cover his wrinkled neck, I'm thinking) but the muscles were gone and he didn't come out from behind the counter to do any jumping jacks or push ups. His wife was with him...she looks pretty good but I bet she's younger than him. The hostess of this infomercial was a very toothsome, and I mean very, woman who claims she delivered twins only a few weeks ago and would have collapsed by now had it not been for the energy the juicer supplies. They shoved all kinds of foodstuff into the chute (cucumbers, carrots, squash, apples, grapes, even a potato) and out came the juice. It really didn't appear to be that appetizing in hues of brown and green but they all took big sips and exclaimed about how good it was (I kept waiting for high fives all around they were so excited). I had noticed they had not used citrus fruit in their concoctions but at the very last Mrs. LaLanne (Elaine, try saying that fast three times) made her recipe using a tangerine, an orange and some ginger root. There's the rub....the citrus has to be peeled... so it was not a wonder machine after all. The wonder is they wanted $150 plus s&h.