Clean And Shiny

Well, the computer room looks nice. I have dusted, pledged, vacuumed, swept, and organized so it should look nice. I bet Bobbie doesn't even come by tomorrow but, no matter, my room is clean. I don't have to go to Nacogdoches to see the referral. I called her and she said nope, don't need anything, doin' just fine, leave me alone. OK with me. I didn't want to go anyway. I'm having the same problem with a lady here in town. She won't answer her phone...I just get the machine and I did go by and got no answer at the door. I did call and make an appointment with another lady here in town. When I got there she kept complaining about feeling bad and it became apparent she was too sick to talk to me so I left promising to return in a few days. She has Medicaid, lives in an assisted living center and I really don't know what I can offer her. I have two referrals in Marshall but have decided to put them off until Monday. I've been researching multifunction printers. I may buy a Hewlett Packard one. I went to Sam's today to look at the printers again and noticed that Cingular is offering the Moto phone I want for $49 plus the activation fee making it about $79. May go for it plus the roll-over plan for $39. Supper is smelling good. I'm making Nenz's Five Hour Stew. It was really easy so I hope I like it. It certainly gets rave reviews on Contessa's Kitchen. YesterdayI made rice pudding in the rice cooker and it turned out really well so dinner will be stew and rice pudding. Called Rudy and Pat today around 1:00. Pat says he is doing a lot better and they are really working him in therapy. I talked to him briefly and he sounded much stronger. Maybe we dodged a bullet. Pat said Mike, Mary and Ben were on their way to visit. Hope that goes well. I said "I know where you are"....more trying to hang up than anything but she took it to mean I know what you are going thru....and agreed that until someone goes thru this they can't understand. Well, yeah, that's true. It ain't no fun...wondering if this is the way it all is going to end...has that time come....no one around to make decisions except you...wondering if you made the right one....wishing for a little support...wondering if your whole life has just changed....angry that you are stuck in this situation...feeling silly about being angry....angry that it seems they just are not trying hard enough to get better....feeling trapped....praying that they can do the therapy and come home so things can get back to normal.